Convinced myself I was imagining them. That it was nothing. Well, when I finally got myself to the doc for a routine check-up and described this suite of bodily occurrences, the vertical line between kindly Doc Allen's brows got deeper and deeper. His response was simple, "You see nothing. I see cancer."
This kicked off a whirlwind of three weeks of tests. Some of them the most agonizing and humiliating experiences of my half-century on this mortal plane. After tests, more tests, re-tests, specialized tests, some out-patient surgery, and tests to verify the tests when the original tests showed anomalies, I can say that the all-clear bell finally rang. However, had I waited another six months, the answer could have been different.
But, enough of that. One of the procedures left me really emotionally and physically sacked. I was about as low as I could go. Throbby, Whiny, Hurty, Fraidy, and all the other dwarfs that didn't make the cut. So, I pulled up a stool at the virtual coffee shop that never closes and sent out a vague-book message asking for good thoughts, strength, and some good mojo.
The response was overwhelming and gave me the traction I needed to get myself back again. If anyone tells you that virtual support, friends, and fellowship isn't real, you are allowed to thunderpunch them. Some critics, in an attempt to gain attention for their ennui and irony, say that vague-booking is just an attempt to get attention.
Hell, yes, that's exactly what it is. A pebble into the pond for help. An, "I am really scared and hurt right now and need to connect." Sometimes online fellowship is even better. Both sides can engage and pull back as they need to, you can't do that on the phone. You don't have the real space pressure of being a hostess when all you want to do is cry and you can revisit the messages as they trickle in when you need a bit more bolstering.
If you ever hesitate to drop a "like" or a comment on a post about an illness or a loss or a cry in the wilderness, don't. It can be a golden lifeline.
Also, I'm pleased to say, y'all sent me so much good mojo, that I was able to fill several sticker books and order from the prize catalog. THANK YOU! (Seriously everyone, thank you.)
|From the bottomless kitsch collection of Terri Lynn Coop|